How to do a wedding seating plan, step by step

Most seating plans go wrong in the same way: people start dragging names around before they know how many tables they have or who is actually coming, then rebuild the whole thing three times. The order below avoids that. Each step only depends on the ones before it.

1. Wait for the RSVPs

You can sketch ideas early, but don't start the real plan until most replies are in. A plan built on the invitation list rather than the RSVP list will have empty chairs in the middle of tables and gaps you have to patch.

If your RSVP deadline is six to eight weeks before the day, that is a good time to begin. Chase the stragglers first. One phone call now saves moving a whole table later.

2. Get the room from your venue

Ask the venue three things:

• The floor plan. Where the top table goes, where the dance floor, bar and doors are, and any pillars or fixed furniture.
• The table sizes they have. Round tables are usually 5 ft or 6 ft across. Trestle tables are often 6 ft long. The size decides how many people fit at each.
• Their deadline for the final plan. Many caterers want it a week or two before the wedding, sometimes with dietary needs marked per table.

With the guest count and the table size you can work out how many tables you need. Our table calculator does the sum for you, and the guide on how many guests fit at a table explains the numbers.

3. Sort your guests into groups

Before you seat anyone, put every guest into a group: the bride's family, the groom's family, school friends, university friends, work, neighbours, children. Couples and families stay together as a unit.

This is the step that makes the rest quick. Groups that know each other usually want to sit together, and a table of people who already get on needs very little thought.

4. Seat the top table

The top table sets the tone and takes the most care, so do it first. Traditionally it holds the couple, both sets of parents, the best man and the chief bridesmaid, but plenty of couples change that. Our top table guide covers the traditional order and the alternatives.

If parents are separated or the top table would be awkward, decide on your approach now, before you place anyone else. See seating divorced or separated parents.

5. Put close family nearest the front

Grandparents, siblings who aren't on the top table, aunts and uncles: these tables usually go closest to the top table so they can see the speeches. Older guests often prefer to be away from the speakers and the dance floor, and near the toilets and an exit.

6. Fill the rest of the room by group

Now place the groups you made in step 3. Try to keep each group at one table, or two neighbouring tables if it's too big. Where a table has a few spare seats, add people who will get on with that group: a friend of a friend, a colleague who knows the couple from university.

Don't leave one guest at a table where they know nobody. If someone is coming alone, seat them with at least one person they know, or with a friendly, sociable table.

7. Check the awkward pairs

Go through the people who shouldn't sit together: an ex, a family feud, two friends who fell out. Make sure they're at different tables, and preferably not facing each other across the room.

In Seats Plan you can set a keep-apart rule for each pair. The plan then shows a clash in red if they end up at the same table, and Auto-arrange won't put them together.

8. Think about access and comfort

Check the practical things:

• Guests with mobility needs or wheelchairs need space around their seat and an easy route to the door and toilets.
• Anyone hard of hearing will want to be close enough to hear the speeches.
• High chairs take up room. Tell the venue how many you need and where.
• Keep elderly guests and very young children away from the loudspeakers.

9. Review it with someone else

Show the plan to your partner and to one person from each family. They'll spot the cousin you've seated next to the ex-boyfriend, or the aunt who can't manage stairs. Do it before anything is printed.

10. Make the table plan and place cards

Once it's settled, you need two things: a table plan for the entrance so guests can find their table, and place cards if you are giving people specific seats. Place cards and escort cards explains the difference.

Send the final version to your venue by their deadline, with dietary needs marked. Keep a copy on your phone on the day.

Doing it in Seats Plan

Seats Plan follows this order. You paste your guest list, putting "&" between a couple's names so they stay together, and give each guest a group. Then you draw the room: tables in the sizes your venue has, the top table, the dance floor, the bar and the doors. Auto-arrange seats everyone in one go, keeping couples and groups together and putting the top-table group at the top table. After that you drag the last few people where you want them. It's free for up to 60 guests.