Where to seat children and plus-ones at a wedding

Children and plus-ones are often the last people placed on a seating plan, and it shows. A bit of thought makes their day better, and their parents' and partners' days too.

Babies and toddlers

Seat babies and toddlers with their parents. Ask the venue for high chairs early and tell them which tables need them, since high chairs take more room than a normal chair. Tables with high chairs work best at the edge of the room, near a door, so a parent can take an unhappy child out quietly during the speeches.

Young children

Children under about five or six usually sit with their parents too. They'll need help with food, and most won't sit still through a long meal on their own.

Children's meals are often served earlier or faster than the adults' courses. Tell the caterer which tables have children so they don't wait for the third course.

A kids' table for older children

If you have several children over about six, a kids' table can be the highlight of their day. A few things make it work:

• Keep it close to their parents, so a parent can check in without crossing the room.
• Put an older child or teenager on it, or ask a relative they know to sit with them.
• Give them something to do. Colouring sheets, a small activity pack or a disposable camera go a long way during the speeches.
• Seat siblings together so nobody is stranded with strangers.

Teenagers usually prefer to sit with adults, or at a table of their own age, rather than with younger children.

Plus-ones

A plus-one often knows only the guest who brought them. Two rules make their day easier:

1. Seat them next to the person they came with. Splitting a couple to "mix the tables" means one of them spends the meal with strangers.
2. Choose a table where they'll find someone to talk to. A table of the guest's old school friends, all sharing stories from twenty years ago, can be lonely for a newcomer. A mixed table of sociable people is easier.

If you know a little about the plus-one, such as their job, where they're from or a shared interest, use it. Seating them near someone with something in common gives them an easy start.

Guests who come alone

The same goes for guests who come without a partner. Put them at a table with at least one person they know, and avoid tables made entirely of couples. Two single friends at the same table usually have a better time than one at each of two tables.

Being clear about who's invited

Most seating problems with children start with the invitation. Address invitations to exactly the people who are invited. If children aren't invited, put only the adults' names on the envelope, and say so politely on your wedding website if you need to. Guessing who's bringing children makes the plan impossible to finish.

A family table

If several families with young children are coming, consider seating them together at one or two tables near an exit. Parents can share the job of keeping children entertained, children have each other to play with, and nobody without children ends up next to a toddler for three courses.

A separate room or a babysitter

Some venues have a second room where children can eat, watch a film or play with a hired children's entertainer or babysitter during the speeches. If you do this, still give each child a seat in the main room for the meal or for the parts their parents want them at, so nobody is left without a place.

Teenagers

Teenagers often don't want to be on a kids' table, and don't always want to sit with their parents either. A table of cousins and family friends of a similar age, close to their parents but not with them, usually goes down well. Make sure they get the adult meal, not the children's menu, unless they'd prefer it.

Seats for carers and helpers

If a guest needs a carer, or a parent is bringing a babysitter to look after children during the reception, they need a seat and a meal too. Count them in your numbers and give them a place near the person they're helping.

Keeping couples together in Seats Plan

In Seats Plan, write a couple on one line with "&" between them, such as "Sam & Alex", and they're linked as partners. Auto-arrange always seats partners side by side, and if you drag one of them to another table, their partner follows to the nearest free seat. You can also link or unlink partners later from the guest's panel.